When it comes to dating, it’s easy to overlook signals from the other person. Because we’re close to the situation, we sometimes miss both the subtle and blatant cues of the relationship’s health and potential longevity. Being able to spot hints that determine a person’s interest can save you both a lot of time and anguish.
Cue No. 1: Timely Texts
Texting etiquette is important, as it reveals whether a person really cares or if they’re just bored. If truly interested, they will respond to your texts in a timely manner – and with more than the single, often-frustrating letter “K.” You can’t expect them to drop everything for each text you send, but – if they care – they’ll respond in a reasonable timeframe and with substance. If 24 hours passes with no response, and they aren’t out of the country, then it’s possible their interest has waned. Look at it this way: When you ask a question, do they do their best to answer it? I’m not a huge texting fan, but when I return texts, I do so with care and a response that is understandable and directly answers the question. Reading – and responding – to texts is important. In relationships that didn’t work, how often did the person rarely read your texts?
Cue No. 2: Actions Over Words
How your partner treats you when you’re together is an indication of dedication, care, and the level of connection. During sessions, I’ve had clients share with me their dates from hell, and I’ve found commonalities. Good conversation and careful attention go a long way. But if your date is constantly eyeing others or their phone during your time together, it’s a sign they aren’t invested in the date. I assure you, if someone is really into you (especially on the first few dates), the phone may not even venture out of the purse, jacket, or pants. Eye contact and basic etiquette go far in showing how a person truly feels.
Cue No. 3: Family Talk
Usually, when a person discusses their family and says they want you to meet them, it’s a good sign. No one is going to introduce their parents to someone they don’t plan to be dating in the near future.
Cue No. 4: The Friend Zone
I’m not talking about that friend zone. Much like discussions of meeting family members, it’s an important sign when you’re invited to spend time with your partner’s best friends. At this point, you’re in the circle. Often, this shows they truly like you and see a future.
Cue No. 5: Small Surprises
Again, actions speak louder than words. If someone is interested, they may do small things for no reason. They may buy you a card or drop by your office to say “hi.” People see these types of gestures as rare moments of someone going out of their way.
In any relationship, there are ups and downs, but the waves can be easier to navigate when you consider these five cues.
Ashley Berges is a Dallas-based life coach, family therapist, and syndicated radio talk show host of Perspectives with Ashley Berges, which can be heard on 570 AM KLIF and 660AM KKSY. She has written three books; her most recent is The 10-Day Challenge to Live Your True Life.
Do you have relationship questions? Send them to [email protected].
