Rollercoasters are only fun when you’re at Six Flags. I’ve been in relationships that were more extreme than the Texas Giant; loopier than the Shock Wave; more up and down than the Mr. Freeze. These relationships begin fun but it’s not too long before you’re not feeling like yourself. You’re questioning what is wrong with you. You’re feeling bad about every move you make.
In an emotionally confusing relationship, we deal with hypocrisy but don’t recognize the real role that it is playing. You are holding yourself to a certain standard, but they’re not. For instance, when you inquire about what they were doing last night, you get a barrage of responses – and many of them place some sort of blame on you.
These confusing relationships tend to make us overlook hypocrisy because emotions are running high and you feel hyper-connected to your partner. When you are in a relationship where someone is loving and committed one minute, and accusatory the next, you begin to realize that you’re in over your head.
We begin to question ourselves and wonder what we could have said or done differently. Should we have kept our mouth shut in a given situation? Instead of being yourself, you clam up or close off. We usually don’t realize that we’re doing this because we are working to keep the peace.
There are glimpses of the person you fell in love with and that brings with it hope that things will turn around. In these situations, you don’t know something is up but you aren’t able to pinpoint how to get things back on track. How to get back the person who you first met.
Throughout my years of helping clients deal mentally and emotionally, I offer three questions: What is keeping you in the relationship? Do you feel like a different person when you are around them? Do you feel as though you are walking on egg shells and have lost a piece of yourself? Answer these three questions honestly to begin to assess how you feel about the relationship you’re in.
If you realize that your relationship takes your emotions from high to low points or if it is a whirlwind that has caused you great pain, it may be time to get off the ride once and for all.
Ashley Berges is a Dallas-based life coach, family therapist, and syndicated radio talk show host of Perspectives with Ashley Berges, which can be heard on 570 AM KLIF and 660AM KKSY. She has written three books; her most recent is The 10-Day Challenge to Live Your True Life. Visit her website atwww.ashleyberges.com.
Do you have relationship questions? Send them to [email protected].
