You guys, we need to talk about unicorn bark. Perhaps I’ve got color on the brain now that my hip coworker has dyed her locks a glorious rainbow of pastels, but I’ve been seeing this psychedelic treat everywhere. Sadly, the emphasis is on the word “treat,” though. Every recipe I’ve found is riddled with chocolate, sprinkles, and candy—you know, all the good stuff—and I’m afraid I’d experience a sugar high I could never come down from if I consumed such a delicacy. So I set out to find an alternative.
By combing a bark recipe from one of my favorite recipe blogs, Chocolate Covered Katie, and an insane how-to for making Unicorn Poop (I’m giggling as I type because I’m remarkably mature), this is what I came up with.
What You Need
- 1/2 Cup of Coconut Butter (I used Artisana Organics, which can be found at Whole Foods. I used this brand partially because it was the cheapest, but predominately because it sounds crazy healthy.)
- 1/4 Tsp of Peppermint Extract (I used this because I already had this, and I like things minty fresh. You may use any extract your heart desires.)
- 1 1/2 Tbsp Pure Maple Syrup or Stevia Drops
- Neon Food Coloring (You could also use pastel colors. It depends on what kind of unicorn you have in mind, I suppose.)
Instructions
- I’d would closely compare this process to a super fun art project you might have done in Kindergarten. First, you’ll need to nuke your coconut butter a bit to create a paste. (Start with twenty seconds on high in the microwave and then do five-second increments until you can stir it into a paste.)
- Divide your “paste” into four separate bowls or ramekins. Add one drop of one of your food colors to each bowl/ramekin and stir until each colored paste is blended.
- Pour each different colored paste onto a flat surface covered with wax paper or Reynolds Wrap.
- Take a spoon or some such object and swirl all the colors together.
- Put your final result in the freezer for a few minutes and voilà!
*Approximate Total Calories: 500
Final Thoughts
My bark turned out a little more Lisa Frank than Princess Valhalla Hawkwind (probably should have gone with pastel food coloring over neon), but once my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I grew quite fond of my art project bark. Did it taste good? Listen, it tastes fine. Would a bunch of melted candy covered in sprinkles and even more candy—as is the custom in most unicorn bark recipes—taste better? You bet your Lisa Frank backpack it would! But if healthy bark is what you want, than this slightly bland but somewhat satisfying result is what you shall get. Your beach bod will thank you.
