Over the weekend, new Morning News editor Mike Wilson finally introduced himself to readers, after a few months in town spent attending Robert Wilonsky’s son’s sporting events. In that piece, Wilson revealed that his dog — breed unidentified — is named Story.
My dude really went and named his dog Story. STORY. Like he rescued it from the Mayborn Conference. Like it has #longform on its collar. Like it divides its time between chasing squirrels and trying to write engaging ledes. Even Mike Mooney probably thinks that’s taking it too far, and he loves dogs and writing more than anyone I know. Mooney, who has a Gay Talese shirt. Story!
Here is a list of better names for a dog than Story:
Spike
Eddie
Admiral
Andre
Bear
Brutus
Chewbacca
Chief
Chunk
Cujo
Clifford
Larry
Conan
Diesel
Duke
Genghis
Goliath
Snoop
Hercules
Carson
Jeff
Hulk
Jabba
King
Kojak
Goldie
Old Dan
Little Ann
Sonny
Sandy
Dave
Kujo
Mack
Magnum
Moby
Rambo
Rex
Rocky
Barry
Sarge
Spartacus
T-bone
Tank
Thor
Tex
Titan
Tyson
Big Baby Jesus
Zeus
Trooper
Bertha
Harley
Bunk
Omar
Kahuna
Kodiak
Marge
Quigley
Questlove
Champ
Ripley
Cooper
Baxter
Marley
Olive
McNulty
Oliver
Oscar
Colby
Toby
Bill
Hasaan
Rain Man
The Professor
Ason Unique
Osiris
Barney Kool Breeze
Prince Delight
Peanut the Kidnapper
Freeloading Rusty
Joe Bananas
Roll Fizzlebeef
Lucy
Murray
Chance
Gary
Frank
Fred
Swearingen
Swidgen
Willard
Beethoven
Beowulf
Bigfoot
Brando
Curtis
Chris Partlow
Bob
Bishop
Left Eye
Chilli
T-Boz
Cheese
Hot Nikkels
Johnny Blaze
Iron Lung
Seabiscuit
Ticallion Stallion
Bob Lee Swagger
Dirk Diggler
Melvin
Smiley
Bobby Shatford
Mickey
Staff Sgt. Sean Dignam
Luke
Leia
Han
Anakin
Ashanti
Monty Brewster
Banksy
Barksy
UPDATE (4:25 p.m.):
Charlie
Doug
Terry
Chev Chelios
Jericho
Turkish
Handsome Rob
Jasper
Parker
Joey
Craig Mack
Notorious D.O.G. (aka Puppy Smalls)
Fletch
JEB!
Dog
Martin
Bluto
Dr. Dog
Zed
Geddy
Travis Barker
DJ Bluntz
Gerald
