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Politics & Government

Rick Perry and Barack Obama Meet to Talk Border

What follows is a very serious recreation of current events.
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"I know how political things like this can get, so I just wanted to, you know, first off, I just wanted to say thanks for hearing me out on this."
“I know how political things like this can get, so I just wanted to, you know, first off, I just wanted to say thanks for hearing me out on this.”
"Of course, of course. I know how important this is to you, so I, uhhh, wanted to hear your take. Of course."
“Of course, of course. I know how important this is to you, so I, uhhh, wanted to hear your take. Of course.”
"Like I said, things like this can get political really fast, and I just hope that we can all keep our eyes on what's important here."
“Like I said, things like this can get political really fast, and I just hope that we can all keep our eyes on what’s important here.”
"Absolutely, Rick. Absolutely."
“Absolutely, Rick. Absolutely.”
"Now, I stayed up late last night, thinking about this, trying to figure out what's best. Getting my list in order."
“Now, I stayed up late last night, thinking about this, trying to figure out what’s best. Getting my list in order.”
"Your list?"
“Your list?”
"Oh, man, Anita was getting pretty ticked. I thought I had it all figured out, and, you know, I was drifting off, just starting to have the Die Hard dream -- do you ever have the Die Hard dream, Barry?"
“Oh, man, Anita was getting pretty ticked. I thought I had it all figured out, and, you know, I was drifting off, just starting to have the Die Hard dream — do you ever have the Die Hard dream, Barry?”
"The -- I'm sorry, what?"
“The — I’m sorry, what?”
"Come on, the Die Hard dream! A buncha terrorists make their move and you're the only one that can stop them and you're just like -- pew pew pew pew, now I've got a machine gun, bambambambam, ho ho ho, adios, mofos. The Die Hard dream!"
“Come on, the Die Hard dream! A buncha terrorists make their move and you’re the only one that can stop them and you’re just like — pew pew pew pew, now I’ve got a machine gun, bambambambam, ho ho ho, adios, mofos. The Die Hard dream!”
" ... "
” … “
"Anyway, I'm just starting to doze off and I spring up out of bed like, Jesus Christ Superfund Site -- how could I put that No. 1?"
“Anyway, I’m just starting to doze off and I spring up out of bed like, Jesus Christ Superfund Site — how could I put that No. 1?”
"Number ... 1?"
“Number … 1?”
"So, this morning I was in the shower, and I was just like, 'Ricky, you know what the right answer is. Just look in your heart.'"
“So, this morning I was in the shower, and I was just like, ‘Ricky, you know what the right answer is. Just look in your heart.'”
"Well, yes, in general, I'd say that's a good idea, but I don't know -- "
“Well, yes, in general, I’d say that’s a good idea, but I don’t know — “
"ANYWAY, hoss, here's my list."
“ANYWAY, hoss, here’s my list.”
"No.1, Lone Wolf McQuade. No. 2, Missing in Action 2: The Beginning. No. 3, The Delta Force. No. 4, Missing in Action. And, No. 5, The Octagon."
“No.1, Lone Wolf McQuade. No. 2, Missing in Action 2: The Beginning. No. 3, The Delta Force. No. 4, Missing in Action. And, No. 5, The Octagon.”
"Let's see you top that."
“Let’s see you top that.”

(Photo credit: By Center for American Progress Action Fund from Washington, DC (Barack Obama at Las Vegas Presidential Forum), via Wikimedia Commons)

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