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Sports News

The Onion Analyzes Tony Romo’s, Let’s Say, Proclivity For Crappiness

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Back in September, Peter broke down the best game of Tony Romo’s life, a 1997 high school match-up set in Wisconsin. Today, The Onion breaks down the rest of his career.

In a piece titled “ESPN ‘Sports Science’ Segment Reveals Physics Of Tony Romo’s Sh*ttiness,” the paper of record does a deep dive into Romo’s career, from a scientific point of view.

“It was truly fascinating to scrutinize Romo’s pathetic struggles on the field,” said physicist Charles Dunbar. “We are finally starting to unravel the science behind the dumb sh*t tripping over his own feet and falling down well before the pass rushers arrive.”

In case everyone forgot, the Cowboys are scheduled to get pummeled by the Falcons Sunday night.

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