Texas Secession Petition Barrels Ahead

Source: Mario Piperni

As Republicans nationwide continue hoarding grains, ripping out what remains of their graying, fleeing hair, and praying to Grover Norquist, one has decided to do something about it. Micah H., an Arlington resident, has petitioned the United States of America (specifically the Obama White House) for permission to remove Texas from the rest of the country. His words: 

“The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government’s neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it’s citizens’ standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government.”

Forget the jobs created by NASA and federal defense contractors, obviously.

Micah’s petition has already garnered more than 18,000 signatures, well on its way to its stated goal of 25,000. No idea what happens when they hit 25,000, but I assume the state will break off into the Gulf of Mexico.

(I saw this independently, then saw Wilonsky posted something about it an hour ago. Half hat-tip.)

UPDATE, from friend turned traitor/New York-returner Greg Howard, at the Village Voice: Some joker from Grand Forks, North Dakota submitted a similar petition, graciously asking New York to remove itself from the Union thankyouverymuch.

Comments

  • Taylor

    As a Texas resident I’m ashamed this is by far the most ridiculous thing ever. Texas was its own republic once before didn’t work out too well. If Texas is actually allowed to secede( highly doubt it) count me out I’m moving up north!

    • Avid Reader

      Since this has hit the news, there are more than just a few other people from other states making up their own petitions as well. Pretty soon there will be a petition from every state, where to then?

    • Joe

      Good move

  • Liz Johnstone

    Good thing Puerto Rico is ready and willing to take our place as the Lone Star State.

  • mark

    i have the perfect solution: As foolish as our state department acts it will be a win-win for all Texans.

    Day 1: Secede from the USA
    Day 2: Declare war on the United States
    Day 3: Surrender
    Day 4 – : Live like royalty for the rest of our lives on all of the foreign aid and support we will receive rom the government..

    • Taylor

      I doubt the citizens of Texas could take the entire us by ourselves

    • Michael J. Mooney

      This is known as the Key West (Conch Republic) approach to modern diplomacy. And it would certainly create a boom in the country music industry.

  • Kelly

    Enjoy protecting your own borders. And, by the way, that really worked well last time. Remember that war when we lost 660000 of our fellow citizens.

  • kk.

    If everything about this president, this administration and this election were exactly the same, except the re-elected president was lily white this would not be happening. This is 100% race based hate, southern bigotry at it’s finest. “Let’s take back our government!!” From who? The colored people, that is what they believe and the basis of this crap, period. White Power, Texas Style! Ashamed doesn’t begin to cover what we should feel about this.

  • dubiousbrother

    @Taylor – refer to Day 3

  • Everlasting Phelps

    That’s not forgetting any of the jobs. We’ll still need defense, and we can contract NASA back to the US government. (Defense jobs are “broken window’ job anyways. Defense spending is a necessary evil, not an end in and of itself.)

    http://bastiat.org/en/twisatwins.html

  • BradfordPearson

    A newly independent Texas would need defense, yes, but would Lockheed Martin and Northrop Grumman be willing to keep their plants in a new, unstable country? My thought: no.

  • Peter Kurilecz

    well apparently individuals from 17 different states have submitted petitions to the WH petition site. once they hit 25,000 signatures the WH (according to their rules) has to respond. I find this pretty humorous. almost as funny as all the hollywood types who announce loudly that they will move away if a Republican is elected. but then they don’t

  • AustinTom

    Any Texan that believes Texas really has a balanced budget is demonstrating the ignorance that is Texas. The USA would be a better country without Texas and I would be happy to move to a more enlightened state. I am tired of apologizing for Texas.

    • Cya

      Don’t let the door hit ya in the arse!!!

    • Karen Williams

      See ya later Tom. If you hate Texas so much why do you have the state capital to begin your user name? I have lived in many states…Texas is by far the best one. You need to be aware that Texas is not the only state wishing to leave the USA now. At least 20 others are wanting to leave. So be careful when you pack your bags and leave here…you might end up in a different state that wishes to leave the US also.

  • Bruce

    Based on the ITAR regulations, they would probably shutter the facilities and move to another state that gives them tax free status.

  • JamesM

    The American Revolution worked, though I am not even sure most would care up North except for financial reasons. The North views us as a big flyover country joke while happily pocketing our money. Texas has a huge economy and is bigger than many European countries. This is not exactly a novel concept in most parts of the world.

  • greg

    Dumb. Stupid. Idiotic. These nuts can’t seem to think even with their nuts. Think ‘airspace’ people. Borders. Traffic in and out of Texas. Oh, and that great big wall in between Texas and Mexico. The United States armed forces. All of these are controlled by the Commander in Chief by the will of the people. Ya’ll would quickly be begging to rejoin the union and requesting forgiveness for wasting taxpayer time and money to teach ya’ll your place. dumbasses.

    • Avid Reader

      *y’all.

    • Greg

      Not necessarily. A majority of the military is anti-Obama. If this became serious enough, we would have a big problem.

    • Joe

      We already have boarder patrol so shouldn’t be a problem an I think it will be you who will learn a lesson wonder where most farming come from good luck planting stuff yourself

  • Avid Reader

    Disagree, they would probably keep the plants here to take advantage of what would probably be the world’s lowest tax rates.

  • BradfordPearson

    But then how would we fund an army? A navy? Would all Texas resident troops automatically be rolled into a new Texas army?

  • BradfordPearson

    Most importantly, though: Come and Take It flag, right? If so, I might stick around.

  • Zac Crain

    1) We have a balanced budget, but with a pretty big asterisk: http://money.cnn.com/2011/01/23/news/economy/texas_perry_budget_stimulus/index.htm

    2) Also, as much as it would please me professionally, since I’m now essentially a one-trick internet pony who depends on Google Images as much as Texas depended on government money in that link above, but seriously: Texas President Rick Perry.

  • Brett Moore

    Your quibble about “happily pocketing our money” should be with the rest of the southern states, not the northern ones. Those northern states, like Mass, NY, and NJ you think are happily pocketing your money are also net contributors to the federal pie. The biggest net “takers” are places like Alabaman and Mississippi.

  • Bruce

    But based on the 2000 Licensing agreements that they would have to enter into with their American suppliers and end user, the taxes could be offset. Besides I am sure that Michigan would PAY them to move

  • Avid Reader

    Low does not equal zero Bradford. I’ll let you decide on the resident troop situation.

  • Michael Fitz-Gibbon

    Such imbeciles. Look, you’re not going to win all the time in a democracy. That doesn’t mean you pack up your toys and go home. You play the game until you win. Obama was re-elected by the majority, whether you like it or not. You can’t play the game for so long and then decide you no longer like the rules. Secessionists are quitters at best, traitors at worse.

    • Greg

      California already has a large portion of the state that want to secede from Northern California. If you want to see the future of this country, just look to Sacramento. The rest of us want to follow the Constitution and there are just certain things Obama stands for that are non-negotiable.

  • dubious brother

    Black unemployment is 15%, black youth unemployment is 40%, the price of gas for black people has doubled in the last 4 years ….. and yet 90% of black people voted for Obama who is 1/2 black not because he is 1/2 black but because of what he has done for black people since he became president. God help black people if we ever have a president that doesn’t care about the future of blacks.

  • mynameisbill

    It’s like when some liberals were talking about moving to Canada during the Bush administration. Also, wasn’t there talk of Vermont seceding to Canada at one time , too? Yeah, there are loons on both sides of the aisle and 25,000 signatures….oh no! I’m not a math genius per say, but aren’t there a lot more folks in Texas than 25,000? Wouldn’t there be quite a few angry Texans, other than those 25,000, that might have a problem with secession? With a Rick Perry presidency would the population of this independent Texas be required to use hair spray? There are just too many what ifs and what whats to ask! Can’t we just find these secessionist a spot in the panhandle and give it to em? Let them start building their utopia there….win win for everybody!

    • Greg

      I’m not a liberal, but during the Bush years I also was considering moving to Canada.

  • Avid Reader

    Sure, because no one ever jokingly threw out the word secede before President Obama showed up.

  • Texan

    It really has nothing to do with his skin color. It has everything to do with his belief system, policies, disregard for the Constitution, etc. I could go on. It has to do with him not even being qualified to be president. It’s also not about hate but about a real concern on where we are going. About how we are losing our place in the world, our strength. Obama is seen as a joke in the global scheme of things. Why do you think so many other nations were happy to see him re-elected. If you think he is going to help us you are lying to yourself.

  • Kk.

    I guarantee every single person that signs the secession petition is a bigoted hater. Would Freak completely out if their kid married a dark skinned person, would blow a gasket if they showed up to work tomorrow and found out their company of employment was now owned and operated by an African American. These are the same people that scream that our traditionally Christian president inexplicably is a Muslim, then went out and voted for a Mormon? “traditional” christianity is sooooo important to them, but they’re upset the Mormon and the catholic lost? Baloney, absolute nonsense. The majority of Romneys supporters are older white men, bitching about obamacare while using their Medicare. Talking about the “takers” while cashing their social security checks. Screaming about baby killers when they’d be the first in line at the abortion clinic if their daughter was pregnant with a black child. They aren’t thinking economics or they wouldn’t dream of seceding from the federal tit. You think Texas can have a comfortable, safe society on its own with lower taxes? With a hairdo for governor/ president? It’s not about money and it’s not about religion. Obama has never said anything about taking your guns, so what’s the crisis here that makes you want to abandon your country? Hate. You think the military overall hates Obama, because Romney would’ve been better for servicemen and military families? That would be why he never mentioned either at the Republican convention. Had zero to say about them in the foreign policy debate. Let’s call it what it is. These people want to create a stark white society, where everyone is heterosexual, rape is ok if it’s not too “forceful”, women bow to their men and take care of the children and don’t dare think they deserve the same wage as a big strong important white man doing the same job. The majority of Americans spoke on election day, if you don’t like it by all means LEAVE. But from now on be honest, none of you make over $250,000 so your taxes aren’t being touched – its about the n$&@%r in the white house. You are the same as pointy headed clansmen, the aryan brotherhood and the skinheads. We’ll just add secessionist to that list of racist hate groups for clarity.
    I’m sick to death of the BS, the dance that’s been done thru this election to not talk about the REAL issue which is paranoid bigotry. I see it in my own family and it’s sickening and I vow to call it what it is from now on, out loud and in complete sentences. The holidays should be interesting.

  • DREGstudios

    The racism of yesteryear has come full circle in our county. The entire world embraced our choice of a black President four years ago and most nations of the world still support him. The fringe elements of Republican sect have crept through into the mainstream once again with conservative mouthpieces planting the seeds of hate. The only doubt lies here at home rooting from bigotry. Watch the white hands paint Obama in Blackface at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2012/10/bamboozling-obama.html

    • dubiousbrother

      Where does this leave black people that don’t agree with the politics of the Democrat party in general and Obama in particular? Not all black people need someone else to think for them or vote for them and yes it is all right for people to disagree with a black person without being considered an oreo or a racist.

    • Teresa Murray

      I am so sick of hearing all this racism talk. It is simply not true. The ones who are racist are those who keep pointing fingers at those of us who se what is really happening in our once great country. Moral decline and the economic hardships have been caused by poor decisions on spending! It has NOTHING to do with the color of Obama’s skin (his is half white you know). It is simply about the ideas he stands against! Our freedoms are being taken away right under our noses and those people who are truly racist (against white people) are so worried about being treated different because of their skin color are blinded by their own ignorance! Wake up! There have been 3 bills signed that are taking away our freedoms…not just freedoms enjoyed by white people, but by everyone who is a US citizen!

  • Max Berlin

    Sign the Secession petition ! It’s time to create a haven where rednecks can live without the tyranny of democratic elections ! http://wh.gov/9FiF

  • You keep using that word…

    So, the belief in American Exceptionalism is completely dismantled in less than a week because more people wanted a Democratic president rather than a Republican one? I don’t know whether to mourn or celebrate that fact.

  • Karen Williams

    I for one do not believe that Texas by itself could beat the country of Mexico. Not because of the huge army it has but because of the Drug Lords down there. They have a great army. With that said…Obama is giving them the borders anyways. I DO believe we should secede from the US and form with the other states that leave. Obama WILL NOT allow this to happen though. There would be no peace and I am sure most of us know this. I do NOT want a war to happen. Especially another Civil War. This country was once a great country. I pray it is again one day. But I doubt it.
    BTW this has nothing to do with race…it has to do with the fact that Obama sucks as a President. I do not know what he is like as a man but as a president he sucks. I will continue to pray for our country and that some how Obama gets the message and stops destroying our country. How sad is it when over 20 states no longer wish to be a part of this country?

  • Tristan Stadtmuller

    California has a petition to secede too!

  • Stephen Betzen
  • Who cares

    1. Texas could join the commonwealth
    2. Just because Texas succeeds from the US does not mean there would be a war
    3. Rick Perry does not automatically lead new Texas
    4. We could have gambling which we would need to raise funds for the new state and not have to worry about the native Indian special interests group that pay the state govt not to have gambling – Wynn hates Obama so I’m sure he would be happy to take the lead
    5. Guilt free travel to Cuba
    6. Ron Paul would make a good leader for a little while
    7. It’s never going to happen anyway so need for anyone to get their panties in a knot

  • Brett Moore

    *you all 😉

  • Brett Moore

    Big fan of socialized medicine?

  • Avid Reader

    Kk is angry. RaceWar.

  • Mike S.

    I feel every American has the right to be heard, and a majority of the people have control of the outcome. If the majority of Texas citizens believe its in their best interest to leave the union they have the right to do so. Obama will never let this happen, and Texas will be unsettled for the next several years as well as many other states. Obama has divided this nation. You may ask, how? He constantly mentions how He will tax the rich, and how the rich need to pay… Well, I’m not a rich man, but if you tax my boss he will fire me soon enough… Texas, god bless you, and I hope your voice will be heard.

  • Mike S.

    God bless Texas, and may your voices be heard… May it echo though this great nation and wake up the sleeping citizens. I understand your pain you feel, and burden you bare.. How the hard working Americans are supporting the mismanagement of the federal governments spending habits.. How Obama constantly says he will tax the rich and thoughts who prosper.. Pay their fair share….. This president has successfully stalled a great nation, and my only wish is that you ( Texas ) can make the needed changes that must be sacrificed to pave the way to once strong nation, andbring the dignity back to our country….

  • Nick Neuwald

    Complacency leads to calamity. We can’t continue to sit idly by as we turn into a socialist nation. For all you texans who are “ashamed” that we want to preserve our values and liberties you are not a true texan. shame on all of you. You are a sheep like all the rest of the liberals. We will not labor in order to support these dependent parasites that the obama regime feeds with our money. The Obama regime caters to those who do absolutely nothing, produce nothing, serve nothing, and believe in nothing This secession is the result of the extreme partisan and ignorance of the obama regime. We will not go over the fiscal cliff with the rest of these sheep following their blind shepard “forward.” You can make jokes and dish out your pathetic judgments but we will do what we must to preserve our god given rights.

  • Nick Neuwald

    Complacency leads to calamity. We can’t continue to sit idly by as we turn into a socialist nation. For all you texans who are “ashamed” that we want to preserve our values and liberties you are not a true texan. shame on all of you. You are a sheep like all the rest of the liberals. We will not labor in order to support these dependent parasites that the obama regime feeds with our money. The Obama regime caters to those who do absolutely nothing, produce nothing, serve nothing, and believe in nothing This secession is the result of the extreme partisan and ignorance of the obama regime. We will not go over the fiscal cliff with the rest of these sheep following their blind shepard “forward.” You can make jokes and dish out your pathetic judgments but we will do what we must to preserve our god given rights.

  • Nick Neuwald

    Complacency leads to calamity. We can’t continue to sit idly by as we turn into a socialist nation. For all you texans who are “ashamed” that we want to preserve our values and liberties you are not a true texan. shame on all of you. You are a sheep like all the rest of the liberals. We will not labor in order to support these dependent parasites that the obama regime feeds with our money. The Obama regime caters to those who do absolutely nothing, produce nothing, serve nothing, and believe in nothing This secession is the result of the extreme partisan and ignorance of the obama regime. We will not go over the fiscal cliff with the rest of these sheep following their blind shepard “forward.” You can make jokes and dish out your pathetic judgments but we will do what we must to preserve our god given rights.

  • Nick Neuwald

    Complacency leads to calamity. We can’t continue to sit idly by as we turn into a socialist nation. For all you texans who are “ashamed” that we want to preserve our values and liberties you are not a true texan. shame on all of you. You are a sheep like all the rest of the liberals. We will not labor in order to support these dependent parasites that the obama regime feeds with our money. The Obama regime caters to those who do absolutely nothing, produce nothing, serve nothing, and believe in nothing This secession is the result of the extreme partisan and ignorance of the obama regime. We will not go over the fiscal cliff with the rest of these sheep following their blind shepard “forward.” You can make jokes and dish out your pathetic judgments but we will do what we must to preserve our god given rights.

  • Tom

    It’s been tried before: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republic_of_Texas_(group) .

    We do have a secession movement and posturing within the current state government:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_Secession_Movement

    It should be noted that Texas House Concurrent Resolution 50 was introduced in February 2009 and on May 30, 2009 the resolution passed in the Texas House of Representatives with amendments — BUT is not binding on the Federal government. Among other things, the U.S. Supreme Court case Texas v White established certain principles, and remains the last legal word in the debate….”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_v._White

    Those with gavels, guns, badges, needles will never allow secession except maybe under catastrophic circumstances that affect the entire state (like a nuclear exchange with foreign power). Terrorism won’t do it. Petitions, while offering a political platform to allow muted voices to be heard, won’t do it either.
    As most of our problems stem from economic concerns, we should look to other countries who solved their economic problems in a rational manner as examples of how to handle our own economic situation. Perhaps we should consider something similar to what Guernsey Islanders did:

    http://www.michaeljournal.org/guernsey.htm
    http://www.natural-person.ca/pdf/Alternative_Monetary_System.pdf
    http://prorev.com/sovreign.htm

  • Avid Reader

    Posting once will suffice Nick.

  • Mike

    Southern conservative states take more from the federal gov than they contribute.

  • Nelson Hernandez

    James and to the rest of you, “texas has the 15th largest economy in the world.”
    Here is my question.

    What currency are you using now?
    What currency would you use later and how much value would you think it would actually hold for world trade??

    smh. idiot.

  • lil tex

    15th ranking is wrong. That’s old. Texas was 10th in the world in 2010 and has almost certainly moved to 9th or 8th by now. Texas economy is booming and It’s growing without end.

  • Kathleen Moore

    Texas is playing into the hands of the North American Union. The Leftists NEED the States to secede. The Leftist in the White House only has to do all he can to “enrage” the States, and that’s the trigger they need to unzip the USA for the long-sought Communist regional union exposed as a goal of the CFR by Congressman Lawrence Patton McDonald in 1983 before his flight disappeared. It is precisely the CFR who are doing the regional union NOW, by which I mean vertical integration into a single regulatory and military union under a continental perimeter on the pretext of 9/11 under the name of the SPP and “regional security”.

    http://canadian-state-of-the-union.blogspot.ca/2011/06/taking-america-down-for-globalism-in.html

    Texas is also failing to consider that international law has changed dramatically since 1776. The Leftist UN, on American soil, commands both American and foreign troops and can bring them in to QUELL a “regional” uprising that does or may lead to “instability”. See s. 52 et seq. of the Charter of the United Nations.

    You may find the links to videos and documents posted in the description to this video interesting:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tePQfpakE10

    Kathleen Moore
    HABEAS CORPUS CANADA
    The Official Legal Challenge
    To North American Union
    http://www.habeascorpuscanada.com
    http://habeascorpuscanadacomments.blogspot.com
    http://www.NoSnowinMoscow.com
    http://www.MyTalkCanada.com