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Leading Off (11/15/12)

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Texas Instruments To Lay Off 1,700. Or, about 5 percent of its workforce.

Dez Bryant’s Domestic Violence Charge Moved To Conditional Dismissal. If he completes counseling and doesn’t get charged with a crime for one year, the charge will be dropped, said Bryant’s attorney, state Sen. Royce West. So, I mean, let’s really focus on the word “conditional” here, because finishing things and staying out of trouble are not exactly Dez’s strong suits. They’re not even, like, his average strength suits.

Sports Parents: CHILL Seriously.

Secession Petitioner Micah Hurd Explains Himself. Okay: 1) doing something because someone in Louisiana did it first is only smart if you’re talking about, I don’t know, hot sauce, I guess; 2) writing a secession petition a week after a presidential election then claiming that secession petition has nothing to do with the presidential election — COME ON, fella; 3) this quote – “So, naturally, the reactions I’ve received on the internet have been, in my opinion, way overboard, very very vehement. Probably the majority of them.” — suggests Hurd has never, ever been on the internet ever. Vehement, overboard reactions are its natural state. That, and stomping the life out of a meme in 48 hours or less.

“Sex Cult Leader a Suspect In Wife’s Murder.” And somehow, the story is STILL more bizarre than I thought it would be.

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