Rick Perry “Most Likely” To Seek Another Term As Governor. “Unless the good Lord’s got  a different plan” for him. He told this to an Asian reporter with a comically tiny microphone, then high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air. (Yes, I know it’s different when I just type it and don’t string together a dozen photos from Google Images.)
Frisco Tanning Salon Owner Arrested For Peeping. Two girls, ages 16 and 19, complained to police that Justin Bracken was spying on them while they were naked at his Celebrity Tan and Boutique. Then Bracken allegedly high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air. (I’m sorry. That was insensitive. I’m sleep-deprived. Call 972-292-6200 if you know of any other potential victims in the case.)
Prime Prep To Play First Football Game On Friday. Maybe. Or Maybe Not. Or Possibly. Or Perhaps Not. But They Might. Unless They Don’t. If they do, it will be against Parish Episcopal. If they don’t, they’re going to have a lock-in and tell ghost stories, founder Deion Sanders said. Then he high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air. (Comedy rule of three. I had to.)
