Believe it or not, I have some ideas.
Hotel Manager, Omni Hotel Dallas. He basically willed the joint into existence, so I’m fairly sure he could land this gig. Unless he blows the interview by talking too much with his hands. This also has reality show potential, so I’d bet Bravo or TruTV or whomever could convince Omni to give him the job without actually giving him the job, you know? (Possible titles: Land of TOMorrow, Leppert on the Prowl, Fawlty Premise Towers, Mayor of Handtown.)
FOX News Talking Head. Easy job for him. Just take the current set of generic right-right talking points and regurgitate on command. In other words: his Twitter feed, with fewer exclamation points, less desperate pleas to retweet him, and more emphasis on saying “Washington,” “Obama,” and “politicians” like he just walked into a gas station bathroom.
Mayor of Dallas. Basically no one cares who has this job anymore, so he could get it back pretty easily. He puts on the pinstripe gangster suit and shows up, and he’s halfway there. Then it’s just him, a council member who doesn’t feel like working anymore, and Edward Okpa. It dismays me that this might happen.
Private Eye. Based on his campaign so far, I feel like not a ton of people know he exists, so he could blend seamlessly into the background and break some cases. Needs to maybe loosen up a bit, but I think he could pull it off. This is my dark horse choice.
