Calling Out a Rude Commenter

Earlier today, I posted an open letter to Derek Holland in which I took issue with the young man’s comedy stylings in the dugout during last night’s game. It wasn’t that I thought Holland’s impression of Harry Caray was bad. I just thought it was delivered at the wrong time. And, yes, as several commenters pointed out, Joe Buck and the Fox crew deserve much of the blame for asking Holland to do his impression in the first place. Many of the commenters had good points, and they were expressed politely and with good intentions.

One commenter, however, didn’t play nice. I did not approve his remarks, but here is what he wrote, using the handle “Mrs. Tim Rogers”:

Timmy honey,

Eat a bag of dicks and choke on them and die.

Your Wife.

The best part? He submitted this comment using his work email address (I checked the IP address, too). This guy works for a very large local organization. I will not name the firm. Nor will I name the commenter. The guy doesn’t deserve to lose his job over this small matter. He’s a Rangers fan, right? We’re all in this thing together. Anyway, I tracked the guy down and gave him a call at work. Enjoy.



  • T’Pau

    One down, 48,792,331 to go.

  • bigjondaniel

    Kids raised on X-Box live don’t have the checks and balances of old school trash talking. That is – if you trashed talked in the old days, on the playground/court/field – someone would deck you. So it either had to be good natured, or you you had to be so bad a$$ that no one would mess with you.

  • Vinny

    That certainly beats my comment of “eat some tasty crab filled mushroom caps with a tasty merlot and choke on them and die.”

    (The phone call was brilliant, though.)

  • Amy S

    You, Sir, are a good dad. Well played, completely respectable.

  • Stump’s Agent

    I think you just lost a listener. Not me. Him.

  • Dirt Monkey

    While kinda funny, seems a bit much to call him at work. He sounded like a d-bag for sure, but internet comments section are often filled to the brim with the world’s worst people. Or maybe cowardly is better. At any rate, no site is immune to this. Sure, the community is usually much better at sites like D, but it’s unavoidable.

  • Sugar Shane

    Can’t believe I am saying this, but in a world where passive aggressive behavior is becoming more prevalent, the world needs to take a lesson from Tim Rogers.


  • publicnewssense

    Now, exactly what was the offensive part? I’m a little unclear…or was it the message as a whole? Hmm, what does your boss say about hunting down a reader for a personal confrontation that could escalate to who knows what?
    Me? Oh, man, I love a good intellectual exchange!

  • Philip

    Tim, you were absolutely wrong and you crossed a line. I write professionally on the Web, and this sort of thing is just par for the course. You acted immature and unprofessional calling this guy at work, and you seriously crossed a line threatening his livelihood. Sure, he was rude, excessively so, and profance. But does that mean he should be out of work, especially now, during one of the largest economic recessions of our time? Of course not.

    Grow up. Welcome to the Internet.

  • amy

    Are you 5?

  • Red Sox Nation

    Quit being so pity. Its baseball not the White House sit back and enjoy the ride it almost killed my grandparents watching the Red Sox year after year. And when the Sox finally won it in 2004 they do it with a team that was more than likely drunk from the pre game whiskey shots and 50/50 they would forget to put their pants on before the game. I loved Hollands attitude and had to rewind the DVR just hear it again. Its baseball and the only difference from softball is the ball size.
    PS can you help me with some investigative work you seem quit good at it and I need access to westlaw.

  • Amy S

    If somebody said that and referenced me, my husband would want to go punch him in the face. The Kid crossed the line. Tim just called him on it.

    Who cares if the Kid never comes back to play. We need more bullies?

  • Alex
  • Deb

    @Philip…you write professionally? Then surely you know when to use an adverb and an adjective. To wit: Tim acted “immaturely and unprofessionally”, not “immature and unprofessional.”

    Which he did not. Too many of us have become numb to this kind of behavior, and it’s refreshing to see someone do something about it.

  • Sir Beef

    Note to self: if I want get my colleague fired I will post a nasty comment from work and use his/her email address.

  • missthemet

    Just greatness sir!

  • Rico

    I, too, hate it when people call me honey.

  • Chris

    Tim. You honestly want to get a person fired over something like this? Yikes. You must have been the little kid on the playground that was like, “I’LL SHOW THEM! SOMEDAY! I’LL SHOW THEM, MOMMY! GAAAAAHHH!” while you had the tears in your eyes and the quivering jaw. You know, the kid who grew up and despite success, great talents, and a fulfilling life was still made of glass at his core.

  • Martin

    Sure, the guy was an a$$ to post that, but you calling him and threatening him is way low.
    If you’re that thin skinned you shouldn’t be online.

  • CJ

    That was awsome!
    You just lost a listener!

  • RayRay

    Asking for an apology is fine. Maybe even necessary.
    But threatening to tattle to his supervisor? Come on, Tim.

  • D. Shapiro

    Quality, Tim. You should have asked more questions about the bag of dicks? Where might I even find them? Next to a Barrel of Monkeys? And a whole bag? That might be a lot. I’d probably have to share. Maybe a game 6 party. Just bring beer, I’ve got the food covered.

    Please don’t call me.

  • tifane

    Looks like Tim was most offended that another male would call himself “Mrs” Rogers”

    maybe , “MS” was more appropriate

  • EP

    Awesomeness. Tim, you rock.

  • tifane

    There is a reason Tim did not merely post a reply on the website which he could be sure the writer would read

    Come on Tim do tell

  • Alice F.

    This cracked me up. Was it wise? Was it correct? That I don’t know. But was it entertaining to hear my revenge fantasies come to life? Absolutely. 🙂

  • JHG

    Wow Tim,

    You really showed him…just how pathetic and petty you are.

    And then, you were so proud of it, you showed all of us. Top marks my man. Top marks.

  • Bill Marvel

    You did the right thing, both for him and the “very large local organization” he works for. It’s a fair bet that this is not the first time this guy has sent out a scabrous — or possibly libelous — email on the organization’s account. Sooner or later he’s going to get that organization into some serious p.r. or legal trouble. (I know of an example of this involving a local company and an in-house e-mailer with too loose a trigger finger.)
    By phoning him, but not his supervisor, you put him on notice that his actions can be traced and that they endanger his job. It’s a slim, but barely possible, chance at redemption, if he’ll take hold of it and learn something.

  • JHG

    P.S. Feel free to hunt me down and yell at me if you disagree with my comment. Email me for my address and telly number.


  • Well played. People who use the internet like a personal bodyguard to stand behind so that they can say whatever they want with no consequence deserve to be confronted. You shell shocked him when he actually had to have a real life human interaction. Interesting how our world is becoming more “social” and at the same time producing more socially inept people that lack the ability to interact with a sense of decorum outside of the safety of their keyboards.

  • RayRay

    @Bill Marvel:

    Or, you know, he’ll just take his Internet commenting “talents” elsewhere.

  • Daniel

    I don’t think he sounded like he was really sorry. You should have made him sing a little song or something, or made him say “I am an addle-brained bulbous cretin” 17 times, and no mercy if it was 16 or 18.

    Plus you needed to clarify about the whole bag o’dicks thing. I’ve heard of no such — thing? Item? Monstrosity? “Hostess gift”? Whatever the case, a little elucidation was in order. If said bag was the product of his own feverish imaginings, we the readers need to know more about his childhood. Probe the man, Tim — probe him!

  • iluvD

    First you do it with your potential child’s school…and now with this dude…I suppose bullies don’t like being called out.

  • Uncle Nancy’s comment was my favorite: “What is a bag of dicks? And how much does one cost?”

  • Daniel

    I see D. Shapiro already asked about the bag. So he deserves the answers, not me. Please email them to his supervisor at your nearest convenience.

  • DGirl

    I’m glad you made that call. Those of us who have blogged by our real names and our noms de blog have been harrassed and called ugly names by anonymous cowards for a long time. Admin rights give us the ability to look behind the curtain and track down asspole commenters, discover “unique” commentors using same IP address, etc. Just remember that next time you want to tell someone to choke on a box of dicks of whatever that idiot said – you could get a call too.

  • towski

    I’m confused. Are you intended to die from eating the bag of dicks, or is it a seperate action, not related to the ingestion of the aforementioned sack of genitalia? And what size bag?

  • Ego

    Looks like Tim has a huge ego. He starts this morning with an arrogant letter to Derek Holland. It’s baseball. No need to talk down to Holland.

    Then the phone call to the guy at work is ridiculous. Here’s a thought, delete any bad reader comments and forget about them. That’s what happens with comments – you’ll get some extremes.

    Lose the ego.

  • Jason

    Strike two today Tim. You first call Derek Holland out for being immature, then go all “web vigilante” and harassing an idiot that didn’t like your post. Embarrassing indeed.

  • Chris

    did you forget to announce that you were recording the call?

  • Justin

    Tim was totally in the clear breaking this guy’s balls a little. The troll’s comment was completely out of line, it showed neither imagination nor nuance, “bag of phalluses” on the other hand…

  • amanda

    I agree with Daniel. He didn’t “sound” sorry. I think he should have to streak or something.

  • @Chris: We live in Texas, where only one party in the conversation needs to know it’s being recorded. That party was me.

  • Duane

    “B.o.D.” is a Louis CK bit. Seriously, he’s one of the best comics out there right now…How do you people not know this?

  • Marcus

    And wherever Tim is, there’s a party. Just like the twitter pity party he was having last night when his pal didn’t take him to the game.

  • tifane


    They may also include emotional, economic, or reputational injuries as well as violations of privacy, property, or constitutional rights. consent is not required for the taping of a non-electronic communication uttered by a person who does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in that communication. See definition of “oral communication,” Texas Code Crim. Pro. Art. 18.20.

    Unlawful recording of a conversation, or disclosure of its contents with reason to know of the illegal interception, is a felony punishable by two to 20 years in prison


  • D. Shapiro

    He’s at work. No reasonable expectation of privacy on a work phone.

    These things are salty…

    Keep it up Tim. Generated 100 comments today. Bonus content.

  • RayRay

    “Watch your behavior, dude!”

  • JS

    To be clear, would the post have been acceptable without the representation that it was being made by “Mrs. Tim Rogers”?
    If it had properly credited Louis CK with the line (i.e., “As Louis CK once said, ….”)?
    If it had omitted the suggestion that such an act should result in one’s death?
    Just wondering! In any event, this “dude” shall be sure to “[w]atch [my] behavior” going forward.

  • RAB

    You should have said, “If you think a bag of dicks would choke me, then you certainly don’t know me very well.”

  • Wes Mantooth

    The guy sounds like a douche, but threatening to tell the teacher that somebody said something mean to you went out of vogue in about the second grade. Tim should have invited him to a duel in the street, whereupon he could have his son punch the douche in the stomach.

    But I thought the original bit was pretty funny in a completely immature way. “Choke on a bag of dicks.” Funny.

  • Grant

    This is the new Thanks, Tristan.

  • Matthew Cave

    That is a whole big bucket of awesome.

  • Eric Celeste

    Tim is still very upset I’m gone. Please go easy on him.

  • Bill Marvel

    By the way, goes without saying that this kind of silliness could be avoided if folks had the courage to post under their real names.

  • m

    RAB for the win.

    This whole thread makes me happy.

  • JS

    @Eric, I think that’s true. Just yesterday I heard him say, “I wish that Celeste would eat a ….”

  • Peterk

    LOL! the monks taught you well

    and as for the bag o dicks do the contents come flaccid or hard? does size matter? you should have played the guy out then demanded the apology

  • Du-Oh

    @ Tim. Ever seen “Talk Radio”? You never know what recompense you may have brought upon yourself form this fellow.
    I was rather disappointed in the missed opportunity to introduce some humor on your part. It would have made the clip appear entertaining rather than sad. Please do better next time (I’m sure many more comments will head your way as a result of this episode).

  • A.D.

    @tifane: As Tim stated, Texas is a one-party consent state. As Tim (likely) consented to recording that conversation, there’s no crime here.

    Anyone that has a reasonable expectation of privacy when using his work email address and calls on his work line is sorely mistaken. It’s very likely that his employee manual even informed him that he has no reasonable expectation of privacy on company computers/emails/phones.

    I don’t understand the Tim-hate here. If someone is intellectually lacking enough to provide his work email address to the person that he’s insulting (and not even insulting creatively, which is the worse offense), he deserves everything he got.

  • It is a slow process for commenters to learn that Mrs. Tim Rogers is always right and if you fail to see that you are less than human. He is the public face of Dallas “tude” and I don’t believe for one minute he would choke on a bag of dicks.

  • If you guys were to play fair on this blog, you would give us the number of anti-Tim comments you have deleted. He is so butch to threaten a guys job while phoning for the BIG BAD D……the moral compass of Dallas.
    Can you guys suck anymore?

  • For what it’s worth, I exchanged emails with the commenter after I called him. He apologized again, sounding sincere. He explained again that he was defending Holland. I told him I was glad we were friends now — and go, Rangers!

  • I’ve been telling Tim to eat a throng of penises followed by wishes of suffocating on said penises yet he won’t call me at my place of business. Tim, why don’t you ever call? WHY DON’T YOU CALL ME!!!

  • @Jack E. Jett: I have approved every comment that adheres to our standards (no vulgarity, no crazy upper case, uses English). You don’t think there are enough anti-Tim comments here?

    I remember back when we wrote a very kind story about you in the magazine. What happened between then and now to make you hate us (and especially me) so much? And given that fact, why do you visit so often?

  • Eric

    I for one welcome our new D Empire internet sleuthing overlords

    @ RAB : Bwahahahahahaha.

  • Obama’s Seat

    Disproportionate response.

    Calling him and asking for an apology would have been enough.

    Threatening the man’s livelihood as punishment wasn’t very professional, or logical .

    “Apologize or I’ll get you fired” is a challenge, not a request.

    Were I Tim Rogers, I would call this guy back, and apologize for over-reacting.

  • Chris

    @tim, attention-whore comes to mind.

  • Sean

    I didn’t agree with your post about Derek Holland, but that’s because the Rangers won. When he had the headsets on I thought it was stupid. But strike-em-out throw-em-out helped me forget the goofiness of the early innings.

    Regardless, I loved the call. People want you to “be mature” about the nasty comments. You’ve been doing this for how long? Yeah, your skin gets thick, but there is still the chance to draw blood.

    I did want Berkman to eat a bag of dicks, but I wanted him to live to remember it.

  • JonnyDallas

    It seems like people should be allowed to say what they want to say without their jobs being threatened. This guy posted a very crude and thoughtless comment. I think it’s his right to do so, no matter how crude and thoughtless.

    The call was too aggressive. C’mon Tim, grow a thicker skin dude. You’re a big shot editor of an award winning magazine. Stop being so sensitive. You’re gonna get those kind of comments from time to time. Hit the delete button and move on. You gotta know by now that when you publish your opinions there are gonna be some ‘bag of dick’ types out there that are gonna spout off.

    It really seems to me that recording and publishing the aggressive phone call is a bit of grand-standing. Do you really need to rub it in the guys face some more, after you forced an apology out of him and then for good measure gave him a “Watch your behavior!”? Really? Did you record and publish the call to show off? Did you do it to get some giggles? It really seems like that to me. Would you have made the call at all if you didn’t know you had some leverage because you had his work information? Would you have made and recorded that call if he owned his own business and you had no supervisor to call and complain?

    Both the comment-er and Tim seem to be acting like children. The comment guy saying something stupid and then Tim being a bully peacock in response. Both of you should act like adults. And one of you should act more like a grown up scholar of arts and letters. Stop picking on people just because you can.

  • Obama’s Seat


  • As a matter of courtesy, I think Tim’s wife and children should be off limits – even though they are occasional subjects of this blog. Tim is fair game for derisive wordplay, and he’s said as much. But family is family. Tim is obviously a passionate and protective husband and father, and this half-wit crossed a line he shouldn’t have. Can’t blame Tim for responding to belligerence with paternal aggression.

  • Jd

    you took your whole issue of Derek Holland verbatim from the Ticket this morning.
    I hope recess goes better for you tomorrow kid.
    The guy was a douche but grow up.

  • @Jd: Check the time stamp:

    You’ll also see that I harped on it throughout the game. Mine is an authentic, hand-crafted opinion.

  • Brandon


    You could have at least used some more humor in your response:

  • Bizarro Big Tex

    I think a bag of Richards would be more appropriate for mixed company. But, to each his own.

    AND WELCOME TO THE GREAT STATE FAI……oh, sorry that’s over until next year. see you on the beach.

  • anon

    Funny call but feels like an overreaction by Tim. As people have said, it’s the internet. The stuff in Yahoo or CNN comment sections will boggle the mind

    Was Tim seriously that offended? You’ve got to recognize the use of a ridiculous phrase like “bag of dicks” is just a poor attempt at humor by the commenter..

    Or did Mr Rogers actually know a family member or someone who really did choke on a bag of dicks and die?

  • @Anon: First off, I just called you at work. Expect to hear the audio on FrontBurner tomorrow.

    Second, yes, my sister asphyxiated on a quart-size Ziploc-brand freezer storage bag full of leftover dicks from the takeout place down the street. The wounds are still fresh. I am sensitive.

    No, man. What bugged me was that I fielded such a comment from an email account owned by the unnamed organization in question. I really would love to reveal which firm it was. I am certain that more than a few haters on this thread would change their tone if they knew. But I promised not to tell. So I ain’t.

  • Neal

    “No, man. What bugged me was that I fielded such a comment from an email account owned by the unnamed organization in question. I really would love to reveal which firm it was. I am certain that more than a few haters on this thread would change their tone if they knew. But I promised not to tell. So I ain’t.”

    Way to build up the suspense, Tim. Now I’m thinking you should eat a bag of dicks for not telling us the name of this organization. Of course we must now try to guess: (a boring choice but still possible) (just admit it was Schutze) (“oh sh**! I didn’t know we represented you. Sorry!”) (most likely candidate) (those ingrates) (ding ding ding!)

  • DavidLeeRothmann

    Tim, you probably should start hoping this person doesn’t get loaded and decide to play “bang the journalist’s head off the pavement.” Your behavior isn’t just childish, it’s provocation of the sort that sometimes gets those who engage in it seriously hurt or even killed.

    So some guy made a rude comment on an open Internet forum? Lock down the comments if you can’t take the heat. But I wouldn’t make it personal if I were you…unless you spent a dozen years in the Rangers (Airborne, not Texas) and you still have the chops.

    Someone recognizes that guy’s voice and he does lose his job? Desperate men have done terrible things to people who were sure they were in the right. Cold comfort when you’re staring down your now jobless commenter and his 12 gauge shotgun.

    I guess when you get really, uncomfortably old all the young folks like Derek Holland and their foolish antics and crazy teenaged jive- bop music make the rheumatiz act up. HIs pitching made it likely the Rangers will win their first WS. Nothing he did on camera made that less likely, so who cares?

    Then you get in a fight with the newfangled electronical news-a-ma-paper and the invisible ghost people who can talk back to the space-paper using phantasmical, incorporeal typesetting machines with fantasical scientifiction properties. It’s the interwebs, Turn them off if they frighten you, but don’t break the fourth wall and start calling your commenters on the phone! Just ban their IP, it’s the 21st century. MIght be time to take D back to print only.

  • RossG


    You forgot to use a symbol for the word d&ck. Now you will get in trouble from that reader from you using the F-word.

  • tifane

    bully tim
    tim is a bully

  • ScottS

    Tim: awesome. Great move. Thanks for posting the audio! Keep up the good work!

  • Tim…I read this blog because I enjoy the work of Anderson, Crain, and the info from Nightengale & Johnstone. I also love the photos by Janik. No hate here. I just wish you could take at least half the snark that you dish out. There is a very cool dude behind that fancy title & gig. BTW, I have always appreciated the kind words that D Magazine has thrown my way. Maybe it is just that you never returned my man crush.

  • XT


    While crude, I got the Louis CK reference, and thought it was harmless at best. You can disagree. But it’s one thing to respond to a blogger, or even email him in private. It’s another thing entirely to find his phone number, call him at work, record the conversation, and then post the conversation. Although I found the phone call funny, if not illegal, then certainly unprofessional. Revealing the name of the firm would be even more reckless and unprofessional.

    Although I don’t tend to post anything crude or provocative, I prefer my privacy. I am disturbed by these invasions of privacy. Blogs provide a measure of anononimity. Remove that, and see how many comments you get, and how stifled the conversation becomes.

  • @XT: We’re in the process of putting in place systems that will do just that, eliminate the anonymity. I think the conversation will get much better.

  • ts

    The lead is being buried here. Where is the concern for those who gave their all to fill said bag?

  • Nikita

    A blog commenter once directed me to eat a bag of dicks and I just laid this on him:

  • jrp

    “eliminate the anonymity”

    that’s not possible, Tim, or as Ralph Wiggum might say – unpossible

    i will (very easily, i’m sure) prove as much the moment D unveils its new system to eliminate anonymous comments

    bring it

    i’ll find a way around it

  • Brett Childress

    @Tim: I think you’re probably right, the conversation will probably get much better, and even more so the more it becomes one among a small, closed group of intimate friends.

    You certainly won’t have to call anyone at work, because everyone’s numbers will already be in your phone.

    At that point FrontBurner’s relationship to the blogosphere will most closely reflect D Magazine’s relationship to the City of Dallas, so Wick may finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief with respect to this crazy new blog thing you young whippersnappers ended up foisting upon him.

    Not to appear to be too eager, but will there be any “Best Of” conversations in the new blog order?

    • @Brett Childress: No matter what new strictures are eventually put in place here, I think it is safe to say that someone like you, who uses your real name and a working email address (even if that isn’t your real name, and it’s a shell email account — I don’t know), will still be able to come to a blog you don’t like, on the website of a magazine you don’t read, and make sarcastic comments about people you can’t stand. Nothing will change, for you Brett.

  • Daniel

    Yeah, I call BS. I know I’d find a way around it, and I’d wager most of the regular commenters here are more savvy than I am.

    I say the same kinds of things in real life as I do in this forum, but that doesn’t mean I would want a prospective employer Googling me to find I had ruminated at length on the topic of a bag of dicks.

    On the one hand, I admire people who post under their real names, but four times in five they’re the commenters who are the most pompous and full of themselves. You’re not on the Charlie Rose Show here, “Jonathan Calhoun.” I mean, you know?

  • Sybils Beaver


    what about me, will it change for me?

    • @SB: It will only change for you and no one else. That’s why the hammer is being brought down.

  • Daniel

    P.S. That comment was not directed at you, Brett Childress, or anyone else here specifically. Just a general observation.

    My special contempt is reserved for Benton Love, frequent commenter at Slate. Insufferable — I agree with man’s politics, fercryinoutloud, and I still bristle at his bloated bleatings. If he posted under a nom de blog, I would probably not loathe him at all. But Benton. Love. Despicable. You know?

    All right, all right, open season on me now, I suppose.

  • Daniel, Pompous, moi?

  • I am not sure, but it seems a little like blackmail.

  • Daniel


    Ce n’est pas vrai, mon ami. Tu en es l’autre, pas les pompeuses quatre.

  • amanda

    @ Daniel. You cowardly dag of bicks.

  • Mr. French


    Will this be the same process you used to roll out the last refresh of this Web site?

  • Daniel


    Safely ensconced behind my screen moniker, I feel no compunction about calling you a ****, a ***** and a *** who ***** her own *****.

    And that’s just in English.

  • Avid Reader

    I’d be willing to be less anonymous, as long as I don’t have to get a f-book account.

  • Austin

    NICE. This is possibly the greatest example of how to handle a troll I’ve ever seen. Well done!

  • More power to you for phoning the knuckle-dragger at his workplace, Tim.

    But you didn’t then have to put on a show. It should have remained between you and him. That is, unless he’s a working member of the media. If so, out the S.O.B. He SHOULD be fired.

  • Cheryl C.

    Tim, It sounds like you are jealous because you aren’t the professional baseball player.

    At least Derek Holland isn’t a self-appointed snob. Who are you to decide what is or not appropriate? He was not going to play at all that night. It’s a baseball game, not church.

  • Jeff G

    As a sports blogger myself, I have no idea what Tim’s line of thinking is here. If it wasn’t for eat a bag of d**ks guy reading Tim’s material at his workplace, Tim wouldn’t exist. Tim calls out a public sports figure, then gets called out himself in a classless fashion. Tim’s decision? Take the extortion high road and call the guy at work threatening to turn him in for reading/posting on the internet at work. You stay classy, Tim.

    Seriously, eat a bag and call me at work if you don’t choke. I really wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

  • Scott

    Your such a child for doing that. you have a blog. Take the good with the bad and move on. Sir, please choke on a bag of dicks.