Thursday, April 25, 2024 Apr 25, 2024
72° F Dallas, TX
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A D Magazine Guess-tigation

Reaction to the Heat Wave, Day By Day

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Day 1: Whatever, it’s Texas.

Day 2: Whatever, it’s Texas.

Day 3: Whatever, it’s Texas.

Day 4: Whatever, it’s Texas.

Day 5: Whatever, it’s Texas.

Day 6: Ah, jeez. But whatever, it’s Texas.

Day 7: Will you just — I mean, can I have a second here? F—!

Day 8: What’s the record?

Day 9: (neck deep in a pool) Whatever, it’s Texas.

Day 10: (CRAZY sunburned) Ah, ah, ow. Dude!

Day 11: Whatever, it’s … whatever.

Day 12: Seriously? (sends twitpic of car’s digital thermometer)

Day 13: (day-long nap)

Day 14: What did you say the record was?

Day 15: I wonder how tight Pete Delkus’ weather pants are?

Day 16: Why did I buy a dog?

Day 17: Why did I have kids?

Day 18: Why didn’t I take that job in Minnesota?

Day 19: Yes, jerk, I know the winters are worse there than the summers are here. JESUS. I’m just saying.

Day 20: Just — will you freaking drop it? It was just an idea.

Day 21: Oh, halfway there? Well, then, LET’S DO THIS.

Day 22: Record, mother truckers.

Day 23: Yeah, I don’t know why we’re excited about this either.

Day 24: Tropical Storm Don, WHAT. WHAT.

Day 25: That was, huh, what just happened there?

Day 26: We’re probably going to come up one day short. That’s just perfect.

Day 27: (drunk)

Day 28: (hungover) (then drunk)

Day 29: I wonder how many years off my life I’ve lost living in Texas. It’s got to be … a lot.

Day 30: HOW HOT?

Day 31: Man, that Mavs championship run was pretty, pretty great, no? (sinks underwater for an uncomfortably long time)

Day 32: What was rain like?

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