Jobs Tom Leppert Can Do When He Fails to Win a Senate Seat

If you have fewer followers on Twitter than, say, Tim Rogers, who only ever tweets about Cane Rosso pizza and his reaction to week-old New York Times stories, you’re probably not exactly getting your message out. So, even though he’ll probably let this thing play out, it’s best to come up with some jobs he can do when it all falls apart.

half-heartedly feigning interest in whatever B.S. you’re bugging him with now

telling fish stories

spokesperson for Unmowed Vacant Lots Intl.

the Cesar Romero version of the Joker

carrying an invisible globe, immediately after waking up from an impromptu nap

carrying a smaller, but still invisible, globe, in a sort of “OK, I’ll show it to you, but I mean, I don’t know why you’d really want to bother with it, since I’ve already brought out the bigger globe and all” fashion

photo bomber

JUST A REGULAR GUY WHO CARES ABOUT AMERICA AND IS SICK AND GD TIRED OF WASHINGTON NOT CARING ABOUT AMERICA OR BEING REGULAR GUYS

getting stoned at debates

doing a passable job of pretending to remember you are — Joan, right? I met you at the thing with the guy

something

Comments

  • smeyers

    I think there are some open janitor positions.

    I love ya, Leppert, keep running for office. Maybe a Railroad Commissioner job will open up.