I’ve had the drive home to think more about what Chief Brown said. I’ve also had time to have a few conversations with a wide variety of mindsets – including Andrea Grimes, who is indeed following up on that exchange. But what comes out of this whole thing, for me, is this:
The chief was asked a question about a very high statistic – a 25% increase in rape in the city. As chief, I would hope he would have something more concrete, more tangible, to answer Delia Jasso’s question with. Telling a woman to not have so much to drink is not a plan to combat rape of any kind, including date rape. I would’ve rather have seen an answer more like, “Well, we’re looking at the causes, and are planning several initiatives, including better education for both men and women.”
Because date rape is not the same thing as post-coital regret. Yes, I know both sexes get the two confused, but date rape is taking advantage of someone who is in no condition to consent. Post-coital regret? Well, that’s waking up the next day or even 20 years later and going, “Why the hell did I do that?”
And yes, there is a certain amount of responsibility on both sides to avoid date rape. People should be smarter about where they drink, how much they drink, and who they’re with. People should realize that a sloppy drunk is not a potential sexual partner, and that the better part of valor would be to put that person in a cab, not your bed.
The solution to date rape is not to address women only by telling them not to drink so much, any more than it is to tell homeowners not to have nice stuff, stores to not take cash, or people to quit getting in the way of bullets is a plan to avert burglaries, armed robberies and murder. And that’s what’s disappointing about what happened yesterday. It’s OK to say, “You know, we’re studying this, and I’ll have a more concrete answer and plan for what to do about it next time.” But to haphazardly assert that the onus is on women to avoid rape only perpetuates the idea that women ask to be raped by their actions or their dress.
I’m just more disappointed, than anything, that the guy in charge of keeping the city safe is the one to say it this time.
