Petty Feuds

If you read this blog, or our magazine, or follow me on Twitter, you are more than aware I have had -- as of late -- a bit of a problem with birds. Specifically, owls. The owl situation seems to be under control now, though I assure you, my head remains on a swivel whenever I am outside my house after dark. More troubling, however, is that now the problem has spread to pretty much all birds.

Look at this smug jerk. Who is typing this sentence and has had about enough of him? Me, that's who. I'm sure you agree. So many reasons. Here are just a few. 1) He dresses like this every single day. Sunglasses, too. Even if he wasn't wearing them, he refuses to look anyone in the eye. 2) He's too good to actually read our blog. Pretty proud of it, really. 3) I can put it in no plainer terms: Tim Rogers of D Magazine hates our troops. So, when is someone going to come along and put him in his place? I'm sorry I had to air our private business on the blog, but he forced my hand.

If you know me -- either IRL or on various social media -- you know I recently had a problem with an owl. If you don't, then you can read about it here. The video you see here is courtesy of my friend Bob's girlfriend, who noticed an owl mean-mugging her and, while recording, captured an attack on an unsuspecting jogger. (Just hang with it for a sec.) Also, you may have seen this video (language alert) of a man using a Swiffer to get an owl out of his home making its way around the internet recently. This is how these things start! It's like, haha, what a funny situation and then, boom, we're all huddled together in a giant nest watching a buddy being fed to a bunch of owlets. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

I kept waiting for him to hold up today's newspaper to prove YES, I AM STILL ALIVE.

Dallas Legislative Race Expensive, Nasty: The runoff battle for House District 108 between Republicans Morgan Meyer and Chart Westcott has already cost more than $2 million, but the bitter tone of the campaign is now waging a personal toll. Yesterday, in the latest twist, Kevin M. Curley II quit in protest as chairman of a PAC that supported Westcott after the campaign sent an anti-Meyer flyer which included “a fake Meyer mug shot, a bottle of liquor and a roadway with a streak of blood.” Could an Expensive Special Benefit Plan Bring Down Dallas Police-Fire Pension Fund? The Deferred Retirement Option Plan, or DROP, sounds like a pretty sweet deal. When a cop or firefighter hits retirement age, he or she can start collecting pension benefits while still earning a full salary. The pension is invested in a special account that earns 8-10 percent interest a year. The problem is, while intended as an incentive to keep experienced veterans on the job, DROP costs the pension fund more than $100 million a year. Pension fund officials told the Dallas city council yesterday that those costs have out-paced low interest rates and the fund’s under-performing real estate investments. Allen Faces $600K to $1 Million in Repairs for Eagle Stadium: The $60 million dollar high school football stadium deemed “not safe” faces upwards of $1 million in repairs. Fans are bracing themselves for a season played on the road in Plano. Man Missing at White Rock Lake: Dallas Fire-Rescue crews still haven’t located the body of a man who was seen jumping into White Rock Lake yesterday afternoon. Witnesses say the man struggled to tread water before going under and not coming up about 40 yards from the shoreline. No, He’s Not Johnny Manziel, But Dallas QB Pick Still From A&M, Has Sideshow Appeal: TMZ doesn’t care about Dustin Vaughan, the Cowboys' undrafted QB signing from West Texas A&M. But Vaughan, described as a “gym rat,” does have a workout parody video that has drummed up a few hundred thousand views on YouTube.