Dallas has not always been well-represented in fiction. Filmmakers and novelists have repeatedly returned to the creative well of the events of Nov. 22, 1963, but (with notable exceptions) most of the city’s biggest characters have existed solely in the real world. However, a few fictional Dallas residents have left just as much of a mark on our hearts and minds.
We want to recognize them, and for good measure, rank them in order of greatness. Greatness is here measured by a complex formula that judges each character on factors including their verisimilitude and their iconic stature, among other things.
Honorable Mention: Claire Underwood (House of Cards)
The Lady Macbeth of fictional 21st century U.S. politics was raised in Highland Park, a place where — in Netflix’s political drama House of Cards, at least — the luxurious mansions are backed up by horse stables and ranches. As played by Robin Wright, herself a Dallas native, Underwood is possessed by a kind of entitled lust for power that could very well stem from a 1 percent upbringing in the Park Cities. Her own ambition and a similarly ruthless husband have made her First Lady, but, like any self-respecting Texan, she’s always angling for something bigger.
Other honorable mentions: The time machine in Primer; The conspiracy in JFK
5) Norm Oglesby (Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk)
Ben Fountain’s acclaimed novel memorably features a Jerry Jones stand-in as a central antagonist. The Cowboys owner’s showman instincts and good ol’ boy mannerisms take on a decidedly villainous tone as he wheels and deals around a squad of U.S. soldiers unwittingly drawn into a military propaganda tour rolling through the Cowboys’ stadium on Thanksgiving Day. Norm Oglesby is Jones’ ravenous id unleashed, a brilliant caricature of Dallas’ most famous hustler. In an inspired bit of casting, Steve Martin will play Oglesby in director Ang Lee’s upcoming film adaptation of the novel.
4) Dignan (Bottle Rocket)
Dallas native Owen Wilson, starring opposite his brother Luke, plays the inept would-be criminal Dignan in the greatest movie ever shot in Dallas. The film was director Wes Anderson’s debut feature. As Matt Zoller Seitz puts it: “Dallas is the place where it all started for him, as well as for the Wilson brothers. Maybe it’s best to leave it at that, and let the images speak for themselves.”
3) Cordell Walker (Walker, Texas Ranger)
Consummate tough guy Chuck Norris brought a modern swagger to the state’s most mythologized profession. Walker was the ultimate lawman, a Texas Ranger who dispensed justice throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Not the most nuanced character on this list, Walker nevertheless embodies a certain Wild West archetype that resonates to this day. It’s worth noting, however, that Walker did prefer his fists, and his extensive martial arts training, to his gun.
2) J.R. Ewing (Dallas)
The baddest oilman in Texas and Ewing family patriarch was the most memorable character on Dallas, a show that — for better or worse — helped shape the world’s perception of the city. A larger-than-life character whose sole purpose was the accumulation of wealth and the destruction of his enemies, Ewing embodied a very particular brand of North Texas villainy. You can shoot J.R., but if you take shots at the king, you better kill him. And it’s near-impossible to kill a man whose heart pumps nothing but gallons and gallons of unrefined crude.
1) Hank Hill (King of the Hill)
This middle-class Texas everyman — the Hill family’s fictional home of Arlen could be any Dallas suburb — has his shortcomings, which are often played for laughs: His narrow urethra, his flat posterior, an old-fashioned sense of masculinity that keeps him from connecting with his 13-year-old son. But King of the Hill is nothing if not sympathetic toward its cast. The long-running animated show gives the most realistic and heartfelt depiction of suburban Texas life that we have, and Hank is one of television’s most well-developed, believable characters. A hard, honest worker who nevertheless respects his philandering drunk of a boss. A devoted father and husband who blanches at even the slightest public displays of affection, and who is more demonstrative with his love for propane than his wife and son. A Cowboys fan who also learns to love the Texans. Hank Hill contains multitudes, and like most people, he’s just trying to get it right in a rapidly changing world.
