Most Eligible Dallas: Episode One Recap

Last night, I headed over to Highland Park Village for the premiere of Most Eligible Dallas. If I had any doubts about being underdressed as I walked to the theater, they were confirmed immediately by the young woman holding the clipboard. “Are you here to see Cowboys and Aliens?” she asked.

Once it was established that, old jeans or no, I was in the right place, I was able to gain entry, greedily drink some sparkling wine,  and check out the show with a bunch of very dressed-up people. And now I can share my recap with you. Jump if you care. Check out pictures of people who were there, if you don’t.

Here’s the plot of this episode (series?): This lady named Courtney who lives in Dallas likes this man named Matt who also lives in Dallas. Matt does not like Courtney in a boy/girl way. This irritates Courtney to no end, and she picks fights at establishments in Dallas and Plano.

That’s it.

Who are these folks? Well, Courtney is a very tan, 29-year-old woman who, when she’s not going out on the town, “works closely” with Amber Venz. (We’re trying to determine what that means.) Dallas is a small town, and she runs into the same people all the time.  “It’s very incestual,” she opines. Before finding stardom, she dated a gentleman for four years. He told her he was no longer attracted to her during the countdown on New Year’s Eve.

Her “best friend” Matt is a very tan former college football player who loves the ladies! He has black lacquer furniture in his bedroom! He loves hanging out at Teddy’s Room! He never plans on hooking up—he just goes with it! He invites 20 girls at a time to meet him! “Honestly, no one else can really do it,” he says. “Why do one on one when you can do one on three?” Playas gotta play!

Matt obviously has nothing to prove.

So we must endure this Sam/Diane, David Addison/Maddie Hayes couple—minus any of the chemistry—as they meet up and fight throughout the hour. Courtney is infuriated by  the “blonde parade” that Matt has assembled at Teddy’s Room. Courtney doesn’t like the single mom (aka co-star) that Bravo forced Matt to bring to a dinner at Na’an Sushi. She is incensed when Matt dares to wear sunglasses and bring a newspaper to brunch at Sfuzzi. The woman used to work at Sunglass Hut at Willow Bend, so what’s her problem with shades? But it is the newspaper that truly perplexes her. “Are we reading the paper?” she asks, rolling her eyes at the absurdity.  “He probably stopped by a coffee shop to get a paper,” she deduces. “I’m so sophisticated. Like, really, Matt?”

Poor dumb Matt, trying to appear literate on a television show.

As for the rest of the cast, they are merely supporting characters.

We’ll start with Drew Ginsburg. Surely you know Drew Ginsburg, yes? Everyone does, dahling. His last name carries a lot of weight in town. Speaking of weight, did you know Little Lord Fauntleroy lost 200 pounds? (I’m here all week!) I do have some sympathy for Drew—he’s new money, newly thin, and newly out, and he’s on a reality show. So I get it. That’s a tough combination. And he doesn’t seem all that worldly. Despite the fact that his mom is in Cairo, you don’t get the feeling they began talking about the revolution once the cameras stopped rolling. He can’t even pronounce “button” properly. (He says “buddon.”)

But get it together, sir! You do not need to address yourself as “Mr. Ginsburg” to the help. You are not Countess LuAnn, after all. You also do not need to sexually harass your concierge. No one needs to know that, “I take [my coffee] like I take my men: black.” And I have a hard time believing that the Sewell kids are allowed to call stick shifts a “d*ck in the floor” or “John Holmes” at their dad’s dealerships.

The food thing might be a problem. Drew lost 200 pounds thanks to gastric bypass and had a chest and tummy tuck. Now he’s doing a controversial 500-calorie diet that includes hormone injections. (Although, I would argue that the Caesar salad he ordered put him over his allowance for the day.) And he does that weird thing that people who fear food do—he orders food for his friends and watches them eat. In this case, he serves his dog a plate of french fries. (Not good for the dog, dude.)

But all of that pales in comparison to Drew’s attempt to smoke on camera. Parents, show your children footage of Drew smoking, and it will never seem cool again.

Next up is Tara, a lady who likes to save dogs and get engaged. She lives in Preston Hollow, near George Bush, and is worried that Al Queda could be down the street. She likes to drink wine, and she can’t go to Europe without someone asking “Who shot JR?” She apparently takes this as a compliment and not as an indication that maybe it’s time to change some things.

Next! Glenn is a professional football player. Like Matt, he is not looking for a relationship because he is very busy building his career. He has kicked for some 10+ NFL teams in the last eight years or so, and he can name them all! Photographic memory? Not so fast. He fails to mention that he was let go from many of those teams before the seasons began. He also fails to mention playing for the Amsterdam Admirals. Anyway, he favors a porkpie hat and wants to become a model. Seems like a logical career choice for a 31-year-old busy businessman.

Special guest stars on the episode include Jesus and Gregg Asher. Mentions of church, church camp, and crosses make appearances throughout the episode. Gregg Asher shows up at Tara’s house in an outfit that is so not Gregg. You know that scene in Clueless on the tennis court when Amber says of Ty’s outfit, “She could be a farmer in those clothes”? Yeah, it wasn’t that bad. But it wasn’t Gregg.

On to the last featured player: Neill, a 23-year-old single mom with a son named Major, whom she calls “Maje.” Of being a single mother, she says, “It’s fun. It’s hard, but it’s fun!” about 50 times. (Fifty bucks says she said that the night Maje was conceived.)

It seems Neill tried to make it in LA, but after toiling there for years and years and years, when she turned 23, she decided to try making it in Dallas. In addition to being a friend of Matt’s, she’s a singer. Guess what? Courtney is a friend of Matt’s, and she’s a singer, too.

Courtney obviously hates Neill.

In addition to committing the crimes of singing and friending Matt, Neill has gone out to dinner on a Wednesday night when she’s a mother!  “She needs to be home with her child!” Courtney cries to everyone in the restaurant. (Luckily, that’s just the six of them.) When the other folks try to reason with her—inform her that mothers do in fact go out every single day, explain what “nannies” and “babysitters” are, and so forth—Courtney counters that she doesn’t understand why anyone would leave their baby alone to spend time with these strangers on a Wednesday night.

She has a point. I’m not sure anyone should spend time with these strangers on any night. But we will persevere!


  • JasonM

    I would be more likely to watch this show if the female castmembers were all naked or, at a minimum, clad in elegant lingerie.

  • Jason B

    Courtney looks like she got hit in the face with a bat.

  • Guy

    Perfect review except for one thing. It wasn’t strangers that Courtney said Neill shouldn’t be hanging out with, it was “randoms”. I remember because I thought about how the “cool” people couldn’t even say normal things like strangers…..

  • RonJon

    This is a thing?

  • i loved it! i’ve known Tara for 13 years and became friends with Drew and Courtney recently, through her, when you get to know Drew you love him, really. you can’t help it! And Courteny is nice, too. I met Glenn a few months ago and was very nice, i like him too. they are just really nice people. I’ve met matt when he’s been out with courtney and he was nice, and remembered me last night, which was nice. The only one I met at the opremier was neil, and she was nice. it’s just so nice to have nice people on a show, i like it, it’s NICE!! My review will post at Ask Miss A under Dallas, soon!

  • Jason Q.

    Nailed it! Best review of the worst show ever.

  • I Heart Kostelny

    The username says it all, and you took the thoughts out of my head and threw them onto this screen! I was at one of the tapings with two of the cast members…no comment. I wonder if half of the cast members can spell the word “eligible.”

  • Me

    Matt is a poser, idiot, and star-chaser. Search Matt Nordgren in the search bar of

  • kittycatbob

    Well, it’s obvious they’re all bulimic… every, single one of them looks like a lollipop head,y et all they do is meet up in restaurants and eat.

  • Chic

    Did anyone else’s jaw drop when Neill said she was 23?! I would’ve believed 43, but 23?! What the hell did California do to her?

  • Allie

    looking forward to reading and not watching the show!

  • yvonne crum

    the one thing i hated about the show. is the “diatribe” about the young mother.. if you cannot get a night out in the other woman’s eyes.. it’s a very sad thing. these young mothers need that as it gets them ready to face the rest of the time.. being a single mom is hard and you need a night out. I was never a single mother and am old now but have seen a lot of young women that have done a splendid job with their child/children and did take a night out… from time to time.. I will repeat as I have on other blogs.. this conversation would never be taking place for a MAN.. and that’s wrong on so many levels for either sex.. Bless her for not giving up her baby and loving and wanting to care for it… that’s the good part.. and do take some time for yourself.

  • Ruffles

    Nice work, French Onion Diphead. Some of your finest work. Bravo!

  • Heather Buen

    Fabulous review! I’m actually speechless. So this show should do well? Brainless idiots with money that all of a sudden have a conscious to cover up their insecurities and jealousy. This is like Dallas version of Jersey Shore- except none of these characters have signature caricature status to make them marketable!

  • I love you Laura Kostelny – I truly truly love you…no, but seriously…love.

  • John Holmes Package

    Great review, my sentiments exactly. I hope it gets cancelled soon so normal DFW citizens will not have to be apologizing for the next decade explaining to outsiders ‘DFW is nothing like that show, these people are all rejects in society….hence, a last ditch effort to belong to something, even if it is a terrible TV show. The gay car dealer’s mother was in Europe bc she was fleeing from the thought of her 911 Liberace offspring on camera. One thing you left out was Barbi at 40 having her illegal maid preparing food for her herd of strays on nice China, ridiculous. All rich kids, all fake tans, all look like they’ve had a gasteric bypass, and all the men are metro sexual. This is not Dallas at all, this is much more Frisco than HP/UPark.

  • I’ve been blogging about the cast for the past 6 months as they filmed around town. If your readers want to really get to know the cast, you can head on over to And as for Matt & Courtney’s chemistry… you’ll have to “watch what happens”!

  • Rodger Lane McCodgerdodger

    I like it how these comments have become the place for pseudo-socialite bloggers to peddle their worthless websites. Dena, Cynthia, please stop assuming people know who you are and care about what you have to say. It’s unbecoming.

  • Kristina

    LOVE Laura’s review and her fine work in general.

  • Machelle

    You forgot to mention that Tara called people outside of the group “randoms”. If this is reality, I’m glad I don’t live in their world.

  • KDK

    I can’t believe I didn’t watch it. In my defense, I was busy parenting my children, and it sounds like Courtney would approve. I bet Jesus would too. But I’ll have to watch next week to find out…thus incurring Jesus’s wrath…Man. I’ll just read your review instead. It makes me laugh. You are funny.

  • PrincessButtercup

    The Dena Miller comment is hillarious and not in a good way for her. Really…. you think you can convince us that these spoiled rich douschebags are nice. I like how the all have VP titles in “the family” business. Obviously they all live off Daddy’s money. All the girls look way older than they really are. I guess being orange does age a person. Fake boobs, fake ugly lips and fake blonde hair. So original. Water cooler talk at my agency today was we all are annoyed by every single one of these losers.

  • Deepsea

    I must say that the bat comment made me laugh out loud. That was hilarious. This show makes me want to go get 100 chiggar bites. That MIGHT be more appealing.

  • Marty

    This was BRILLIANT! Thank you for your review! I moved from Dallas some 10 years ago and come back in intervals to visit my parents. The city’s landscape continues to change but the same archetypes remain, clearly evidenced by this show. I’m not surprised, as I went to high school with all these people or facsimilies of them, and it frightens me that it’s just, well…so static. But like I get it: you can’t be this rich anywhere else in the country, but you’re bored out of your motherlovin’ mind. Subsequently, the insipid details of your humdrum life in a big small town become overblown: to the point we need to film a SHOW about it. It’s a Catch 22. But Courtney is hi-larious…she and I could grab a drink together. But leave Tara at home until she gets her roots right. I’m jus’ sayin’….

  • It is hard to judge a show the first time it was on. Everyone is so negative and against the show. Maybe it is because they all have money and love to brag about it, I don’t know, and it is NOT President Bush, it is Mister Bush. Formanilly President Bush. I’m not saying that I loved the show, but I have seen worse. Maybe I should just keep my opinion to myself, and not read all the negative comments about the show.

  • dhararison

    This show is the worst thing Bravo has ever done, come on Dallas is better that this, at least show a few young people, not all worn out old hags

  • Erin

    I missed seeing the show, but this review is hilarious!

  • JB

    The issue with these people is that most of them are hateful. They make fun of other people and tear them down. Atleast on Jersey Shore they are making fun of themselves.

    These people are the epitome of the stereotypes of Dallas. This show will be popular… Which sucks.

  • mztrshdish

    Ridiculous. Show full of Narcissists!!! I am embarrassed. For them!! And my city.

  • Not from Dallas

    This show is embarrassing. Such a disgrace to Dallas. I’ve had 10 ppl call me from LA & NY saying “Wow, we thought we were bad, now you guys have Romo and this!!” I don’t understand why Courtney is acting rich because she’s not. Everyone else has been passed down money from their parents, so how does that make them eligible or intriguing by any means? As a true Austin resident I pray for the day I can leave this town and keep these 25-30k millionaires behind me. Matt- get a real life and some hair paint for that open skin.
    Courtney- you seem rude, selfish, and the most superficial materialitist I have ever watched. dig deep my friend, dig deep.
    Glenn- you don’t bother me, but the modeling thing.
    Neill- who cares what you do?
    Tara- Preston Hollow is also my neighborhood and I am very saddened to have you as a neighbor. I have made sure my wife does not run with you ppl.

  • Brittany

    Hahaha omg best review ever! I love you! lol. “Buddon” I was seriously laughing out loud.

  • Brandy

    Laura, you kill me! You MUST start recapping Bachelor Pad. Best line of the posting:
    Of being a single mother, she says, “It’s fun. It’s hard, but it’s fun!” about 50 times. (Fifty bucks says she said that the night Maje was conceived.)

  • stephen

    Laura, I’ve missed your TV reviews of the Bachelor(ette). Thanks for making my day! These people are a bunch of idiots.

  • Trew

    What a train wreck of a show. The girls aren’t even pretty — ok the 23yo neill was although I thought it was matts mom at first. There isn’t a natural beauty in the bunch and they seem to have the personalities of a flea. How did they get cast? I haven’t used hair spray since the 80s. Do Dallas women really rely on hairspray that much?

  • stellerson

    GREAT great review. you couldn’t have said it better. i’ll still watch it but man oh man, did you nail everything on the head.

  • Stacy

    Oh how I LOVE you, Laura!!!

  • heels

    great pictures. Tandi Tugwell??? Really, best name since Charity Beaver.

  • Avid Reader

    @Cynthia and Dena, Your pleading for people to visit your sites is pathetic and annoying. Throwing in a comment before your blog advertisement does not make it ok.

  • Rudyftring

    I know one of these individuals on a casual basis (I’ll save myself and them the embarassment of names) . If the rest of the cast is as shallow and dull minded I’m going to ask the Dallas Convention and Visitors Bureau to file a slander law suit against the producers.

  • Dallas is Douchey

    @Dena Miller – BARF.

  • Disappointed with Dallas

    Nice re-cap D Magazine! This show was not what I expected, I really got bored. Where were the hot Dallas women and manly men? This is Texas? Neil is the cutest out the bunch and seems the most grounded. She does not belong in this crew. The other women are so jealous of her they might as well have worn a sign saying “no hot, young women allowed!!!”. Courtney is disturbed and she needs help in more ways than one. What was up with that hair? It felt like I was watching a cone heads Saturday night live skit! She is a sad excuse for an eligible Dallas woman. Tara “the pet rescuer ” was probably a hottie back in the day but she is scary! How old does she claim to be? She looks in her 40’s! Step away from the botox and fillers! She obviously has issues that bravo is saving for us to have been engaged 4 times and degrading people on the street while wearing your charity on your shirt is not a good representation either. Matt is a joke and a terrible representation of Dallas men. Let’s hope the loser wears condoms! LOL!! Those girls need to stop embarrassing themselves by being in his entourage. Glen is the same as Matt. I LOL’d when he was talking about how great looking he is. He is worse than the women!!! Drew cracks me up! “Bud-Dun” was the best part of the show! Just found out his step-mom is Gina Ginsburg. THEY ARE THE SAME AGE!!! HA!!!! His Dad is like 60!!! This is a joke and makes Miami Social look good! If this is what Dallas has to offer NO THANKS!!!!!

  • langley1

    I had read a few blogs and expected the show to be good. I was embarrassed for Big D and it’s residents. I thought Courtney was an embarrassment to women everywhere with the way she acted. I could not believe how she treated the blonde with the kid. I understand reality shows want drama but this was not the kind of drama that keeps people interested. Not impressed and won’t be tuning in again. Bloggers seem to kiss up to these people purely in hopes of getting an exclusive interview or comment. I saw the comments above directed towards Oh so Cynthia and Miss A and I must agree. You guys sound like idiots with your comments. Bloggers are honest, sell out and you have no following.

  • Lin


  • PAT

    I’m not a blogger – I’m a journalist and I wrote that the show sucked and embarrassed every single SINGLE in Dallas.

  • Kirstin

    Laura, you are the best! That review was great. Glad you are my friend….

  • Cardinal

    Dear lord you are the BEST, Laura Kostelny! Your recaps are perfect. You let the show speak for itself and not try to be the star – unlike the BRT recaps which are long and boring. This show represents Dallas so badly! Like others, I was getting texts all night from friends everywhere asking if I know any of these dumb *sses on the show. Fortunately, I do not.

  • UptownDallas
  • Deuschebag Big D

    Oh So Cynthia- your attempts of marketing are just pathetic. Gimme a break! Let people have their opinions and go find a husband! Doesn’t it get exteemely tiring to kiss the casts’ ass everyday? I mean seriously, there has to be something else to blog about like hunger in Africa or helping kids going back to school?? Use your work for something good in Dallas you old woman, we sure need a come back after this one…..

  • Kersten Rettig

    Hey now . . . this post is not about Oh So Cynthia. Ease up, please. Let’s focus on the real pathetic people here, The Least Eligibles. And mad props to you, Laura. You’re hilarious.

    PS – Hi Avid Reader.

  • Pdiddy

    Accurate review…FYI it’s the Naan Sushi on Cedar Springs not Plano.

  • Kent

    Perfect review! Unfortunately this show depicts Dallas perfectly…self-absorbed people who thing they are God’s gift to the world! You forgot to mention Matt was the third string quarterback for Texas (and probably never even played a down) and was arrested while at UT for assault. Nice group of people. The ratings next week will at least drop by one.

  • Not from Dallas

    So embarrassed

  • Lorios

    I freaking love this article! I tried to post a comment to Courtney’s blog post on the Bravo site but it didn’t get published. Go figure. She kept repeating how ‘real’ they are and how ‘real’ their issues are. I wonder if the real issue will be that the token gay gets his period from his lady shots or if the man groomed for perfection grooms a personality. What is attractive about an orange bald dude in a fedora? Thank you Laura.

  • Dallas fan

    I love Dallas and have been there many times. I also am a fan of a lot of the shows on Bravo. I was very surprised at the cast of this show though… Conceited, spoiled and not attractive 30 something’s (questionable) that have no clue what is going on in the real world. All they do is drink and drive while looking for their next hook-up. Bravo needs to step it up and stop remaking shows (Miami Social) that failed in the first place. Laura your recap was dead on and thanks for the laughs!

  • lemonaioli

    Well done, Laura! Loved the review! It was several days before I forced myself to watch it if for no other reason than to see shots of the city. Nordgren will never be anything but a failed UT quarterback. I speak for at least some UT alums when I say that he garners zero respect. As for the rest? At least Drew is somewhat amusing, if not goofy. Glenn? Bwahahahahahaha! Seriously? And the women bore me except for Courtney who makes a great whiner. Yes, moms are allowed to go out — it’s not like she’s leaving Maje (again…bwahahahahaha!) alone or with some random 15 year old babysitter. Wasn’t it with the grandparents? Critical much, Courtney? Wait till you’re finally a mom and see how nice it is to break out even for something as ordinary as a book club or bunko.

    Didn’t record this week’s episode. Just don’t care.

  • Steph

    These “people” are a total embarrassment to my city! Grow up and get over yourselves losers! Who the hell do they think they are?

  • coastalcathy

    I didn’t think it was possible for Bravo to get any lamer. How pathetic is THIS show? All I needed to see were the commercials for it and I was finished with it. The dumbing down of America.

  • Erin

    This review is the best I’ve read yet. Couldn’t agree more. If these are Dallas’s MOST eligible, the other singles in Dallas have serious concerns. And I don’t really want to be embarrassed to say I’m from Dallas or have people in other parts of the country think that’s a truly representative sample. You did forget to mention how Barbie’s grandma (aka Tara…forgot her name until I read this article) looks like she’s 45 approaching 50. When I read the bios for this show and saw her picture, I wondered why they were putting an old person on the show when it was supposed to be about YOUNG singles…buuuut it turns out she’s only 37…let that be a lesson to those of you who like botox, don’t go overboard.
    And like you said about Drew… couldn’t imagine C Sewells children embarrassing the name like that, but then again I don’t get the feeling they’d be classless enough to do this type of show…

  • Matt

    Please people chill, I am happy to be on the tv and envied by all of you. However what you dont know is I am bi sexual, I planned the whole show, and I have a child out of wedlock also, that I have never seen( research that E channel get some scoop on me ) . I do not tell peple the real truth because it will eventually all come out to haunt me. I am comfortable now admitting I needed the show and exposure to get over letting women down, never playing ball and being a fake or a trapped gay man . I chose Ginsburg because I find him attractive, all the other attendees on my show are merely characters to keep it alive.I do want to make in Hollywood and I hope no matter what my sexual preference is or how I treat these trashy girls that someone will employee me and take me under their agents wing. Hook em Horns

    Leave a Reply

  • Upholding the stereotype

    This show provides the final evidence that armageddon will not be ushered in by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, but by an army of Blonde, Tanned, and Obnoxious status-seekers. Will the West Village zombies and the Victory Park-tards ever realize that no matter how many Louboutin shoes and Vuitton bags they buy, Dallas will never be LA? Tune in next week to listen to Courtney throw a hissy fit over her missing martini olive at Ocean Prime! In the meantime, let’s hope Anonymous hits Cynthia’s Oh So Obsequious blog with a denial-of-service attack. Then we can party like it’s 1999. *shaka shaka*

  • DRT

    Hey “john holmes’ package”,
    Your issue with this show is that it isn’t loaded with stereotypes like you: bigoted, racist, homophobes?

    Know where that “handle” you call yourself has been?

    Sorry you didn’t make the cut. Apparently, even Bravo has standards, low as they may be.

  • cttt

    Does anyone believe these people are for real? No one with class talks about how much money they have, no one dyes their hair that bleached blonde and people from Dallas do have accents!! I don’t know where this Courtney comes from but she does not have an accent and she is despicable!

  • gusanita

    oooh god!!! this is the best review ever!!!!

  • Everyone is some volunteers and starting a new scheme in this community.

  • I think as christians we need to remember that we are to be set apart from the world. I think the above explantion describes it perfectly. We are light and stuff like that is dark. As a believer I want to fill my head with God and His word. Our hearts are wicked and we need to guard it. It is easy to fall into the cares of this world. Lord forgive us for straying from You

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